Museum

THE CITY CENTER is packed full of architectural and cultural wonders with enough palaces, museums, and sights to overwhelm even the hungriest of culture- vultures. The Hermitage, of course, is the cr©me de la cr©me, pi¨ce de r©sistance, and huevos rancheros of Petersburg's museum scene as well as the largest tourist attraction in the city, plus there are plenty of other museums covering a wide variety of topics and interests. Unfortunately several lesser-known museums are closing, some due to lack of interest and funding (like the Communications Museum), others (such as the Central Lenin Museum and the History of the Young Communist League Museum) for ideological reasons. And for all those agrogeologists out there, we regret to announce that the Soil Science Museum is closed for repairs, and in response to our inquiry as to a proposed re-opening date they laughed before hanging up on us.

Although it is extremely unlikely that any of the major museums will close in the near future, the fate of the more eclectic ones is unforeseeable as government funding is in sharp decline. So don't be heartbroken if you don't get to see the Arctic Exploration exhibition - we're close enough to the Arctic that it wouldn't be all that hard to just go and explore it yourself.

Almost all museum exhibits are described in Russian although for tidy sums of cash the major museums provide guided tours in English and other languages. These tours occur at certain times of the day and you usually need to make an advance reservation (though for an extra handful of cash the museum authorities will do their best to arrange a spontaneous tour). As an alternative, many tourist agencies and hotel service bureaus can arrange museum tours or personal guides for non-Russian speakers. Some museums sell books in English but as these vary in quality (not to mention availability) they shouldn't be relied upon to get the most out of a museum or sight. Except of course for the book you have in your hands, which is gospel.

Most museums and tourist attractions have higher admission prices for foreigners. While some may be irked by this kind of discrimination, keep in mind that higher prices for those who can afford it help to keep these organizations afloat, and lower prices for locals keep St. Petersburg's cultural heritage affordable and accessible. All right, all right, we hate it too. Since the introduction of such pricing policies, ticket-taking babushkas at exhibition entrances have developed a skilled eye at picking out foreigners (by their clothes, their walk, their large pieces of modern photo equipment, and so on) so having a native Russian buy you a ticket is unlikely to help you beat the system. The most popular and therefore most expensive museums have currency exchange booths located on the premises to ensure that people who didn't bring enough rubles can load up on more.

Any bag larger than a ladies' handbag must be checked at the cloakroom. They are very strict about this rule because stealing from museums is a privilege accorded only to the museum administrations. If you plan to photograph or videotape any parts of the exhibit you must pay a flat fee at the ticket office and they will give you a little photo permit. Show this permit to the nice babushka who takes tickets and she will not try to break your camera. The babushka is completely immune to innocent pleas of "I promise I won't photograph anything" or philosophical inquiries into the definition of handbag. If you are worried about checking anything of great value, then don't bring it to the museum in the first place. You also must check your coat no matter how cold it is in the museum or how long the line is at the cloakroom. Any attempt to enter the exhibition area in your coat will result in a barrage of squawking and finger- pointing which is quite embarrassing. Some museums with fancy wooden floors make you attach large strange slipper-like devices to your shoes, gargantuan tapochki of sorts. These greatly facilitate sliding around from exhibit to exhibit and are one of the highlights of a visit to a Russian museum, but are a death-trap for anyone wearing high heels.

Note that on any English language signs the floors are labeled according to the British system, i.e. ground floor, first floor, and second floor. This can be confusing as in Russian the same floors are labeled first, second, and third. Still, it is a kind gesture on the part of the museum authorities to try and accommodate people who have trouble counting higher than two. Since kind gestures have no place in this book, we use the Russian system.